Create a life free of chaos
I did a radical thing when I moved from California to Washington. I sold everything I owned and drove up with only what fit in my car. For thirty years I was carrying around stuff that was not necessarily adding meaning to my life. In fact, the daunting part of my household goods was how to store or move them. Once I accepted that I would be better off selling everything, I felt a deep sense of liberation and peace. What else I noticed is that now I only want to add things in my life that I absolutely love or need.
I am noticing in my practice the connection between a chaotic home environment and mental health struggles. The frequency is enough that I believe the connection is great enough to consider creating calm in your home will create calm in your head. By chaotic I mean disorganized, cluttered, dirty/messy, a place of conflict (arguments/yelling is one of the most common complaints I hear from my adolescent clients about their home lives). If I told a struggling parent that one way to help their child would be to create a calm and organized home, it would be met with some resistance…the truth is it will.
One way to approach it is to think of our homes as a reflection of our thoughts. When you walk into your home are you feeling a sense of refuge and peace or are you feeling overwhelmed? Take the mundane tasks of housework as a sort of a special medicine if you will. Slowly over time build the habits with your family to make beds as soon as you wake up. I once read that Nelson Mandela made his bed every day while he was imprisoned for 27 years. It helped him feel a sense of peace and structure.
The other critical element in this is creating a place of peace in communication. Take the time to listen to your family, your child, your friends. Suspend the urge to raise voices, press the pause button and breathe a few breathes before you speak. Ask your child about their day, and sit with them as they share. If they don’t want to share, still sit with them. This is an unprecedented time for our adolescents. The rates of suicidal ideation have doubled in the last couple of years. I sit with these youth and listen as they talk, they are begging to be seen and heard. See them. Simple silent nods as they talk, or gentle questions of “how was that for you?” will go a long way.
Forest Bathing
The term forest bathing originated in Japan. ‘Shinrin-yoku’ which is simply taking in the forest through your five senses.
Forest bathing is a moment to unplug from the outside world as you tune into nature and yourself. The benefits of forest bathing are vast. The act of forest bathing can create a sense of peace and stillness within yourself, which allows for stress to melt away. Studies have shown forest bathing improves sleep quality, mood, ability to focus, and stress levels.
As you enter into a natural wooded space, allow yourself the gift of noticing the environment around you with your five senses. It can happen in a large forest or a local park with trees. What do you see, how does it smell, when you touch a tree, what is the texture? Take time to stroll without your phone or the guidance of a map, allow your intuition to guide you. Listen for the birds or the wind rustling through the trees. How many shades of green are you able to notice? Touch different leaves and moss, how does it feel? What does it smell like when you rub the leaves in your hand? Take a moment for some intentional breathing, slowly inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Lie on the ground and gaze at the canopy of the tree branches overhead. How is the light interacting with the branches and the leaves?
Simply allow yourself to be in nature and enjoy the benefits of the forest.
Surrender
Life presents many challenges, obstacles and detours…the only real course is to surrender.
When we cling to things not meant for us it creates a stagnancy that can be hard to release. Why?…because we become comfortable with being comfortable!
The most personal progress that I have made has been in periods of uncomfortableness. I will continually tell my inner voice to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Obviously this is easier said than done.
When processing these moments of uncomfortableness, so many thoughts come flooding in. Right then and there you can choose to focus on them, or consider if they are not worth the energy and surrender to letting them go. In that moment, ask yourself is this thought constructive or is this fabricated. More often than not our own thoughts are fabricated. We ourselves create fantastical worlds in our mind that are not remotely close to reality….and it is not constructive. I’m pretty sure that you know exactly what I am talking about. Ideally in those moments, acknowledge the thought for what it is and then send it on its way.
On the other hand, if it is a constructive thought, grab your journal and start writing. I’ve been a journaler the majority of my adult life- it’s been a healthy tool to get thoughts out of the head, quiet the inner chatter and leave it in a book that can be closed. I don’t often go back and read what I have written, unless I begin to see a pattern in my life, or relationships… then I have an excellent tool that can reference.
There is so much freedom that comes with surrender, allow yourself that gift.
The Shadow
The mostly concealed side of you that can be called:
Crazy
Passionate
Mercurial
Unhinged
Authentic
Starved
Vulnerable
Hidden
Tap into that face her and say, I see you there. I acknowledge you. Your presence is begging for an audience. I will listen. Then love her. Heal her. Forgive her. And love her some more!
The People of Baja
An unexpected enhancement to the natural beauty of Baja is the people of Baja...chance encounters with individuals that touch and enrich our lives along the way. There exists this simple honesty and humility amongst the locals. A genuine desire to share and connect. Many of the most memorable visits that I have experienced in Baja have been because of the people of Baja.
From the Taco vendor Tony who for the last 28 years has been selling delicious Fish Tacos from his Ballena (Whale) painted truck. Benito a local sculptor that instantly engages you with his gentle smile and twinkling eyes. Carlos the adventure guide who charms with his exaggerated Spanish drawl while simultaneously taking care of each unspoken need. The cocina staff that intuitively notices when you repeatedly look for cinnamon for your coffee and hand it to you without asking. The vendors and artisans who tirelessly create and are more than willing to find something within your budget. The young multicultural couple raising a part Mexican part “Michigan” baby in the kitchen of their thriving Mezcaleria which serves the Pozole that I still crave a year after it’s been consumed.
Each day a new encounter brings about a new awareness of self. A glimpse of inspiration for a simple purposeful life free from the over abundance we’ve become so accustomed to. The people of Baja enjoy a rich history of pioneering and creativity. They graciously welcome us into their world with an openness that resonates long after you return home.
It is truly a place that I feel welcomed, safe and seen.
And one that I will look forward to sharing with you as well.
EXPLORE AND CREATE IN NATURE
